finish the sentence

2011

When I get these emails or Facebook prompts asking you to "finish the sentence" (or something similar), I usually delete them. But I liked some of my friends' answers on this one (from 2009), and decided to take a stab at it myself. Looking back on this after Derek's death, my responses are...kind of poignant...and I think I might want to remember them!

1. I've come to realize that my last kiss....was to a dog, and that's NOT good. 2. I am listening to....the fishtank, once again! 3. I talk....to my animals nearly as much as I do to my friends. Once again, that's NOT good, LOL! 4. I love....the sunshine outside my window while I work. (and Derek, and Sam and Loki, and my family, and Karla, and honeysuckle and lilies of the valley and lilacs, and cheesecake, and stroganoff, and Reuben sandwiches, and onion rings, and dancing the tango, and hiking in the woods before the ticks come out, and watching my garden grow, and springtime, and water slides, and live outdoor music and lying on a blanket with my eyes closed to listen, and the Eno Festival, and good surprises, and good books, and the sense of accomplishment that comes with achieving a goal, and having a little extra cash at the same time I have a little extra time to go shopping for myself, and the little buzz I get after my first couple of swallows of wine, and mojitos, and ballroom dancing and how beautiful and graceful it makes me feel, and a good nap after good nookie, and watching Loki ride the lawnmower with my dad, and seeing what wonderful friends my parents have made and how happy they are, and seeing a twinkle in Derek's eyes when he's happy and smiles at me, and when Grayson and Ian hug me, and Matt's lighting/sculpture--and Matt's hugs!, and Evan's furniture...and...and...too much!!!) 5. My best friends....know who they are. And, I hope, know how much they're appreciated! 6. My first real kiss....was to a boy who pushed me down in the snow and kissed me. And who died not terribly long after high school, in a car accident, leaving a wife and baby behind. I still think of him surprisingly often. 7. Love is....very fun on some days, very frustrating on others!! (and often both on the same day!) 8. Marriage is....about the same as love! And, so far, highly overrated. Hope I'll change my mind about that one day! (Author's note/spoiler alert: three months after this Derek and I were in a motorcycle accident together. We'd been living together, we were engaged, I loved him, but I was kinda feeling like the whole institution of marriage was not all it was cracked up to be. Our accident was a wake-up call, and our caring for each other in the weeks following brought us so much closer. We married in June of 2010...and Derek died in January of 2011. I will never again say that marriage is overrated. If you've found the right person, it's the most magical and wonderful institution. I don't know if I'll ever be blessed with that kind of love again...but I'm so grateful to have had it.) 9. Somewhere, someone is thinking...Period. 10. I'll always....love you, you-u-u-u-u-u (sung like Dolly, I think, not Whitney). 11. The last time I really cried was because....I am never going to have a child/family to share my history, my roots, my childhood stories with, and that makes me sad. "Adoptive" families are great for a lot of things, but for caring about who you grew up with, seeing where you went fishing with your grandpa, reliving your memories of picking up petoskey stones and "Johnny rocks," caring that your other grandpa made awesome chocolate cake and loved butter mints and always had a bowl of them at his house, going to Country Fair Days with you, taking an interest in your new nephew, being interested in your grandma's stories of being a war bride and coming to the US from Belgium...well...not so much. 12. My cell phone....should have a special ring for clients calling with new work, and another one for calls I'm trying to avoid. 13. When I wake up in the morning....I feel best when I jump out of bed and hit the shower or go for a walk before anything else (except peeing, of course!!). 14. Right now I am thinking about....getting off FB, eating lunch, and getting some actual work done! 15. Before I go to bed....I curse at my sunrise alarm, not because I don't like it (I LOVE IT!!), but because I have a short in the cord and have to reset the damn thing nearly every night, but am too cheap to buy a new one and too lazy to try to find a replacement cord! 16. Babies are....on my mind far too often. 17. I get on Myspace....when hell freezes over. The image of finding my ex there--when he was still married to me--looking for "dating and serious relationships" will forever be etched in my mind. 18. Today I....walked for an hour and a half, cooked breakfast, worked, watered the garden and took the chicks outside, worked, proofed/edited some correspondence for Derek, got on FB...woohoo! Turning into a really exciting Friday! 19. Tomorrow I...will be in High Point for opening day of Furniture Market. Which means I will have sore feet, be sick of furniture and accessories, but eat good food and drink good cocktails and hear Blood, Sweat and Tears live--and all for the $20 price of parking and a half mile walk from the lot into downtown!! 20. I really want to be....independently wealthy. Magically free of wrinkles...uh, "smile lines." 10 lbs thinner...or shift those 10 lbs to other parts of my body. Able to see my friends really, truly happy. A fly on the wall. 21. Someone who will most likely repost this is....blessed (or cursed?) with having too much time on his/her hands. Or is avoiding work! I wish Derek would, Mom would, Jack would, Louie would....really, I'd have fun seeing what all of my friends have to say!