misplaced gratitude?

9.4.2016

Have you ever noticed how many things we take for granted in our lives? I live in an amazing house. I am completely debt free. I have (good) food on the table every day. I'm not exactly healthy, but am much healthier than most. I am surrounded by tons of people who want to spend time with me. But what do I focus on? The fact that my property takes more care than I can give it. That I have watched my savings dwindle while in school. That I have food intolerances that are a pain in the butt, or that I throw too much food away because it's now just me and I don't have someone to share my food with anymore. That even though I never get colds or the flu and have no chronic disease risk, I have been in and out of the hospital more times than I can count in the past few years--multiple abdominal surgeries, parotid tumor, hemorrhagic cysts, snakebite, etc. That I feel stressed having to "make time" to spend with people, and I am tired of fighting the battle against introversion and the desire for solitude without loneliness--a battle that feels exhausting and unwinnable, though I rarely stop trying.

I've been thinking a lot about gratitude the past few days, but it hit me that my focus has not been on the everyday things that I should be incredibly grateful for...it's been on the "unusual" happenings in my day, the little things that bring bursts of pleasure or joy. I think it's a normal, but very self-centered thing to be grateful only for what brings us immediate satisfaction, rather than for what sustains us. I equate this to people who have comfortable marriages, but seek "excitement" outside their relationships. Instead of recognizing the value of what they have, and putting a little more energy into it if necessary, they look for something that brings a more immediate adrenaline rush or ego boost with far less effort.

I think there's value in recognizing what brings us immediate joy and pleasure, and evokes feelings of gratitude. When these are healthy, this awareness can guide our path and lead us to greater fulfillment in our lives. But I also think there's value in being mindfully grateful for the things we take for granted, which provide the foundation for all other joy and pleasure.